Growing up and watching commercials around Mother’s Day, I thought that the ultimate gift was an expensive necklace, a bouquet of roses, or a spa package. I figured that when I could afford those things, I would get her these types of gifts every year.
Now that I am a mother of two young children, I can see that there is so much value in heartfelt gratitude. The suggestions I offer for this Mother’s Day is based not just on what your mother deserves, but on what speaks to her the most.
So, for this Mother’s Day, think about how you can show her you love her in the way that speaks most to her. Here are some suggestions:
Physical Touch
Maybe this sounds odd, after all, this is your mother. But physical touch doesn’t always mean what you think it means. It can mean a hug, holding her hand, brushing her hair, a foot massage, whatever you think she would love and you’d be comfortable with. If you aren’t a particularly touchy person, then this gesture might mean something extra special to her. Couple it with another love language, like making her dinner, or a small gift.
Words of Affirmation
Does your mom keep notes that others have written to her in a special place? Does she seem to melt when you tell her you appreciate her? Her love language may be words of affirmation. For this, write her a nice note, or record a video of you telling her specific things you have learned from her.
I once made a PowerPoint for a class about how my mom was my hero and it made her cry. It cost me nothing but my time, and it was completely worth the investment in our relationship bank account.
Quality Time
If your mom just loves spending time with you, take her on a Mother’s Day date. Maybe she’d love a bike ride or a walk in a park. Ask her about her life and listen to understand, so refrain from talking about yourself.
Talk to her about the things that she would love to do or the things that she wishes would get better in her life. Is there a restaurant she’s been wanting to go to? Or a local concert that weekend? You could take her to a paint-your-own-pottery venue and paint a memorable keepsake together.
Acts of Service
Your mother did her best to raise you, a service that you’ll likely never be able to repay! However, if you do think that she would see an act of service as you’re love for her, try first to think of something that she might not be able to do herself because of lack of time or resources- an act of service goes beyond just doing the dishes.
Make her a meal, fix something in her car or house that she hasn’t gotten around to.
Plant her something beautiful in her garden, or weed her garden and do other yard work. My grandfather once bought everyone in his family an annual membership to AAA. The effort of going out of your way to do something for her will be memorable and appreciated.
Receiving Gifts
I have heard people say that this love language is too expensive and high maintenance, but I believe that to be a misconception. I think that the assumption behind that idea is that the more elaborate the gift is, the more meaningful it will be for the person receiving it. However, those whose love language is gift giving will tell you that this is not true.
To speak love in this way has more to do with the thoughtfulness than the actual gift. For example, maybe your mom has been mentioning how she wants to redecorate her house. You could pay for an expensive interior designer, but you could also get her a subscription to Real Simple magazine, or print and frame (there are many inexpensive ones at craft stores) a few of her favorite pictures.
Don’t get to see her very often? Does she complain about not having any pictures of you or your kids? Use an app like Groovebook to upload pictures from your phone.
For less than $3.50 a month (not an annual subscription, and you can cancel anytime) they will print up to 100 pictures and put them in a book with perforated edges so she can pull out the ones she likes. Ultimately, you can always make her something, a special keepsake, that you think will help her feel loved and it often speaks just as well as an expensive gift.
Get to know your mother’s language and then speak love to her in a way that would speak the loudest to her. However, you cannot go wrong with doing something to fit each of these languages.
I understand that life and relationships are complicated and can bring the most joy and the most sorrow. I want you to be able to enjoy your life and relationships without feeling chained down.
